Episode 4: Rearview Mirrors

Welcome to episode 4 my friends. Oh friends, do I have a story for you!

So, I recently called my parents and my dad had a disaster!!! He has a new radar detector and it suctions onto the windshield of his dodge truck. But he was struggling taking it off one day and had pressed on it so hard and his rearview mirror popped off!

So now I was headed home to see if I could figure out how to put the rearview mirror back on.

So, we are in the truck and I am struggling a way – totally failing. I mean there is no way that I have the strength to push the mirror back on the little bolt that is on the windshield and the mirror is just dangling there.

I started by seeing if I took off the plastic coverings to see if that somehow freed up enough space to somehow get the mirror back on.

Then I went looking for help.

YouTube to the rescue!

I found a video called “whoops I popped my mirror off” and it was for a dodge charger and I knew I had a winner! Same make and Same problem!

I watched the video – skipping as much as I could so I could just get to the point of getting the mirror on and the guy just said I put it like this and it went right on!

OH, I was thinking this was a winner and that’s a totally useless video! I need to know what you did to get it put back on!!!!!

Well luckily, I didn’t give up and I went back a bit and actually watched a bit before he got the mirror on and he made the statement, set it at a 45-degree angle, and twist and the mirror pops right back on.

And OH goodness did we have a winner. The rearview mirror is back on!!!

Now I want to relate this back to our way of thinking and point out a couple things about thought work that this story illustrates well.

First - Take the shrouds off

We have to do the same thing with our emotions.

The real emotion is under a layer of anger, defensiveness, fear.

These are the secondary emotions and the real thing is underneath.  They are just like the mirror and they come on the outside. These secondary emotions are the ones we see, the ones we react to, the ones that stand out - and we need to take those emotions off and we need to see the mechanics underneath.

We sometimes need to dismantle them - so that we can actually get to this emotion and so that we can understand it.

We often are so busy reacting to the secondary emotion that we don’t even process or understand the primary emotion causing it.

One quick example is grief and anger. We will often react with anger – lash out, fight, and in reality, the underlying emotion is grief. We are so sad – we are so heartbroken that we have lost something, someone or things haven’t gone as planned and

Sadness feels so debilitating. It feels so powerless so we cover it up with anger – which is a very powerful feeling emotion so because it feels stronger, we choose it.

We have to take off these secondary emotions so we can understand the primary emotion and then process or feel that emotion and allow it to pass and allow ourselves to heal.

It was necessary for me to be able to see the underlying parts of that mirror and how they fit together so I could get it attached again.

It’s the same for our emotions. We need to understand the primary emotions. The ones that are really driving the actions and running the show and how we cover them up with secondary emotions so we can process them and not be ruled by them.

The second thing is Get some help!

The YouTube video – oops I popped my mirror off a dodge charger – something similar – don’t disregard it because it isn’t exactly your situation.

Dodge ram – similar to a dodge charger – probably pretty similar so pay attention. Just look for the similarities. When I am working on my work relationships – I listen to lots of marriage coaching or any type of relationship coaching and I often find similarities - so we can learn and grow from all the experiences that we have in life and our thought patterns are often very similar in different situations so if you understand them in one situation it can make a different situation change completely.

Don’t be discouraged or give up if you can’t get traction or if you see patterns repeat.

Originally I had Skipped over the part and then was watching and the guy was like “I got the mirror back on” and I was like “This is a USELESS video!!!!”

Sometimes it is just one little thing. Don’t give up if you don’t get traction right away over a thought, emotion, or a reaction to an emotion.

Keep working on it. Sometimes when you hear a thought leader say it in one specific way - it will completely change your life. It can just be one additional thought that shifts things for you and you may not have found it yet.

So back to the mirror - the statement that got that mirror on was when put it at a 45-degree angle and then twist. And that was what got the mirror clicked on.

One thought can change your life. So, keep searching and working on it till you find it.

Put the mirror back together

When we take on a new thought we are sometimes taking on a new identity.

There are people in our lives that are used to us behaving in a specific way and they might question you and say you are not behaving like you normally do

This is the secondary version of me.

This is the 2.0 version

This is the new me.

And they might not like it!

They may want you to change back, stay as you were because the new you makes them uncomfortable because they are not changing.

They may say things like You don’t act like you used to.

You do not need to be ashamed about that.

That is the whole point – EVOLVING! We want to change. We want to grow. We want to learn to react differently or even not react to different situations.

It will be fun

Have a wonderful week.