Episode 55: One Good Thing

Hello my friends, welcome to episode 55. Thanks for joining me here today. As we come to the end of 2022 I have been reflecting back on the year. The things that worked, and the things that didn’t. For this whole year, I have been doing a practice that I call one good thing. It comes from a quote that I found back in 2021 it was a post by mindset.therapy and it said:

“This January start the year with an empty jar. Each week add a note with a good thing that happened. On New Year’s Eve empty out the jar and read about the amazing year you had.”

Now I have done this for the past year. I have written myself an email each Monday with an experience, a lesson, or just one good thing that happened every week this past year.

I have to admit there were weeks were it was very hard to write this email. It was hard to come up with anything good but I gave myself the challenge to find something good that happened.

There were also weeks where I would write 3 or 4 things – weeks filled with really great things. It was almost a challenge to limit the email to just a few things.

Sometimes it was projects getting completed or just moving forward.

Sometimes it was a fun conversation with a coworker, friend, or family member.

Sometimes it was something I had created.

Sometimes it was something in nature.

I didn’t put any limits on it. I just made the goal to write about one good thing each week.

In looking back at this practice and in remembering the past year with the help of these 52 emails I have a couple of lessons I have learned that I would like to share with you.

Number 1: We will find what we are looking for. So decide what you want to look for.

Our brains are evidence-finding machines. They are so good at finding evidence that supports our worldview, and our opinions. It is worthwhile being very intentional about what you are allowing your brain to go find evidence for. Because if it wants to find it, it will.

It’s so neat how our brains really do think that being right is better than being happy, at peace, calm, content, or just about any other emotion.

So watch for this.

Set the intention of what you want your brain to go find and then give it time to come up with the answer.

On the really hard weeks, I would start the email, and sometimes I had to sit with it, go back to notes I had taken during the week, and allow time to find the good in the middle of the bad, hard, or sad.

But I found it every time.

We will find what we are looking for.

So decide what you want to look for.

If you decide that there is one good thing in every week. You will find at least one good thing in every week. And it’s so neat that when we look for one thing we can often find many. Strategic by-product!

The second thing was: Our brains struggle to remember the positive so we have to create a way for us to remember.

This is the most powerful lesson in looking back through that email folder that I have that has an email from each week with a memory in it.

We all have poor memories.

Our brains are far more likely to remember the bad (because of course your brain is trying to keep you safe, prevent you from making the same embarrassing mistake again, and prevent extra work) so it will remember the bad to prevent the same situation in the future. It evolved that way. But when all we do is remember the bad we miss out on remembering the good things.

When we remember the bad we sometimes just create more of it. We relive the hard experiences and we get to thinking we can’t have anything better.

So we have to have a practice in place to override our natural brain.

Writing one good thing, allows me to go back and see the good things. And often when I see the good thing that happened a week ago, a month ago, or a few months ago, it makes it easier to see the good thing that happened today.

There is also a really powerful motivation factor to this as well. When we feel good about our lives, ourselves, and others – we do more good. When we feel crappy about our lives, ourselves, or others – we don’t do anything or we do things that hurt or hinder ourselves and others.

We are not our highest selves when we feel bad about things so if we can find a way to feel good, we will create more good.

Just remembering the good, creates more good.

This leads me to my third lesson: No matter what is going on, there is something good happening too.

Life is full of challenges and joys. It’s not very often that we get all Joy or all challenges. Normally we get a mix – and it usually is 50/50.

So if we can see the balance – the good and the bad then it is way easier to keep trying, keep growing and keep struggling because we know there is good in our lives too.

So I want you to think back on this past year.

Can you see the good things that happened?

Can you remember the good interactions?

Can you see the progress that you made?

Can you remember the lessons that you learned?

Can you see one good thing?

It will be fun.

Have a wonderful week.