Episode 48: Uplevel The Golden Rule to The Platinum Rule
Hello my friends, welcome to episode 48. Thanks for joining me here today. This past summer I spent a few weeks with my nieces and they had some lessons to teach me which I, of course, want to pass on to you.
Now I am sure you have heard of the Golden rule. Wikipedia defines it as: The Golden Rule is the principle of treating others as one wants to be treated.
Now in many cases, this serves us very well.
We want people to be kind to us so we are kind to others.
We want people to be responsible citizens so we are responsible citizens.
We want people to share with us and so we share with others.
We want others to be honest so we are honest.
We want others to be forgiving so we are forgiving.
It’s pretty logical and in many cases, this reciprocal relationship serves us and serves other people.
Now where we do sometimes get into trouble with the golden rule is when we start treating others the
Couple of places we get into trouble with the golden rule.
1. We actually don’t treat others the way that we want to be treated
a. Listening
b. Gaslighting
c. Yelling
d. Silent Treatment
e. Not managing emotion
f. Not apologizing
g. Not forgiving
h. Holding a grudge
2. And to add to that we still expect them to treat us the way we think “others” want to be treated.
3. Our interpretation of how others want to be treated is different from what others’ interpretation of what that means.
Ideas/Solutions
1. Be working on yourself. Learning, being coached, managing yourself before you go out to interact with others, challenging your brain, self confront
2. Hold yourself to your standard not others to your standard. This will involve boundaries but it still is your standard of how you will behave.
3. Be kind. This isn’t about beating ourselves up and creating shame. You are a human, not a robot. That means you will get it wrong at least 50% of the time. Expect that. Learn from that. Be open to that. It’s the human experience.
4. Try the platinum rule.
Now I want you to consider the platinum rule (this is what my nieces taught me – tweens and teens have some incredible wisdom if we take the time to listen to them).
The Platinum rule is to treat others how they want to be treated.
The platinum rule is work.
The platinum rule is connection.
But let’s consider how others want to be treated.
I often will see posts on social or hear conversations about employee appreciation and the great resignation as they are calling it.
Things like: We need to get gifts for employee appreciation what ideas do you have for me?
Or we have so many employees leaving what can we do to keep them?
The very first question that pops into my mind when these conversations are going on is.
What do they want?
Have you asked them?
This is the platinum rule.
It is working with others to help their dreams come true.
It’s a great way to feel appreciated.
It’s also a great reason to stay in a job.
How do those around you feel love, appreciation, and acknowledgment?
Do you know this about the people you are close to or the people you spend the most time with?
Most of us don’t even know this about ourselves.
So it’s time to do some exploration.
About yourself.
About others.
There are so many personality tests, you can do the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman, icebreakers or just ask powerful questions.
If you are listening to this as it drops in November 2022. This month I am dedicating my Instagram to questions. I will be posting a new question every day so follow me @christinawilliamscoaching to get those questions.
If you don’t have social media and want them sent to you please reach out to me and I will start an email list with them.
I think it might be time for us to retire the golden rule and start leaning into the platinum rule. Truly knowing what we want. Truly knowing what others want. And then treating others to the best of our ability in the way that they want to be treated.
With respect for our differences and curiosity about the lessons, we can share.
It will be fun.
Have a wonderful week.