Episode 41: Formula for Success - Step 3: Failure

Hello, my friends Welcome to episode 41. We are on to step 3 of success.

This is not anyone’s favorite step.

Failure.

It really does have a bad reputation yet it is the way to every person’s success. It is very interesting that the two go hand in hand all the time.

This negative perception of failure is just a perception.

And one we likely need to challenge if we are to see the growth and innovation that we want to see in our industry.

Thomas Edison had a different perception of failure, he said “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

We can call it failure or we can call in discovery.

The choice is ours.

But either way, failing or discovering things that won’t work costs us time, money, or energy. Do I think it is worth the cost – absolutely! This is how success is created.

 So one way to look at it is Failure is the tuition for success.

Are you willing to pay the tuition?

Many of us handed over thousands of dollars and thousands of hours of time as the tuition for our education. Yet we seem to think that success shouldn’t cost anything.

It’s a different cost. It sometimes is a bit less predictable than a graduate degree. But I hope we are willing to pay the price of failure to help us find success.

Now, why do we all hate failure so much?

Well, one reason is that we are really mean to ourselves when we fail.

We tell ourselves, we should have known better – this one is a lie, if we knew better we would have done better, we didn’t know better.

We tell ourselves that we are worth less because of failure and the failure is evidence that we are no good. Again lies, failure is an opportunity to learn, failure is a teacher, and we actually know more after a failure than we did before so wouldn’t that make us worth more? We have more knowledge. We are even more capable after a failure because we know more. Failure doesn’t make us less capable.

What is your internal dialogue after a failure?

How does it feel when you speak to yourself that way?

Failure doesn’t have to be a problem. It is only a problem when we think a negative thought about it and experiences negative emotion.

If it is filled with blame, shame, berating, should haves, shouldn’t have, etc. just be aware, failure doesn’t have to be like that.

Failure can be filled with learning. Failure can be filled with curiosity. Failure can be filled with care and love. Failure can be filled with excitement.

But where do we start if we find that approaching failure with learning, curiosity, care, love, or excitement feels completely out of reach?

Here are 3 of my favorite mind hacks:

1.       There I go being a human again. Perfect human, a total mess. Showing up, trying, and getting things wrong. What do I want to try next?

2.       Messing it up and getting it wrong, now that is my specialty. It wouldn’t be done by me if it didn’t have a mistake. Things are going exactly according to the plan to figure it out.

3.       OOH I thought that would work but it didn’t. I guess I was wrong. I wonder what would work.

See how all three of these make space for mistakes.

Make mistakes or failures normal.

And focus on what we can learn or what we will try next.

Failure doesn’t have to be a roadblock.

Failure can be a navigation sign, showing us where the detour is, showing us where the map we made was wrong, and showing us the way to success.

For success:

We have to make decisions

We have to take action

We have to risk failure.

Failure is our way to success.

Find a way to fail with love and compassion.

When you witness a failure of someone else, cheer for them, and encourage them. They are completely on the right track.

It will be fun.

Have a wonderful week.