Episode 13: Rules and Tools

Welcome to Episode 13 my friends. Thanks for joining me today. Today I wanted to talk about Rules and tools.

So often we look at information like rules.

Things you should do.

Things you shouldn’t do.

Very black and white.

There is a good and a bad.

There is a right and a wrong.

There is constant judgment.

There is rule keeping and there is rule breaking.

Restrictions of what we can and cannot do

Things we must obey

Things that are always true

Strict Guidelines

And there are cases where I think rules serve us well.

Sports for one.

Can you imagine football without rules?

No, no rules serve us very well in sports. 

And maybe there are situations where this way of thinking serves you very well.

I think we are naturally attracted to rules for a couple of reasons.

Our brains love to be right so they love rules when we are on the side of being right.

Rules also give us a sense of control, a way to explain the world, a way to make sense of things.

Rules help us deal with the uncertainty and unknowns around us.

But I think there are cases where we treat things as rules are not rules.

We use those rules to rail against others and ourselves and we miss out on the opportunity to change or expand our point of view because we are so attached to the rule.

We apply that black and white rule to a world of color and it often just doesn’t set well.

I know that I love to see the world in color.

I much prefer options.

I much prefer to look at information as tools as compared to rules.

When I think about tools:

Help us

Make things easier

Give us leverage

Make us stronger

Utilized in specific situations: I don’t use wire stretchers when I am trying to pound a post.

Allow us to do things we could not do alone.

Mind management coaching that I do is a tool that I think can get mixed up with a rule.

I think it is a pretty powerful tool.

It isn’t about being right.

It's about getting better.

It's about awareness.

It's about learning.

It isn’t about comparison about who is doing life better.

It's about seeing what we are capable of.

It's about possibility

It's about options.

As you are starting to investigate these new ideas or suggestions that I make on this podcast. How are you using them?

Are you treating them like rules?

Sometimes I catch myself doing this.

It sounds something like this.

You know it's just a thought problem so get over it.

You should know better.

Why can’t you just get it right

If you know this stuff so well then why do you still struggle?

Now if I used it as a tool what would it sound like

I wonder what is really going on.

Isn’t it interesting that I am believing this thought so strongly? What does that tell me about my beliefs?

What can I learn about myself because of my reaction?

Who would I be if I gave up that belief?

Oh that makes sense, there I was acting like a human being again.

And here is the 50/50 life that I signed up for.

I am so glad I have a way to work my way through this struggle.

 I am so glad that I get to grow and face this challenge.

When I look at coaching as a tool, I am so much kinder to myself.

When I look at coaching as a tool, I am much more resilient, there isn’t just one answer, there are lots of answers and there are lots of solutions. Lots of ways to get what I want. Lots of ways to rebound from my failures.

Coaching is abundant.

There is a solution to every problem.

You have the skills and abilities to create the life that you want.

Let’s use this tool to our advantage.

What is the right tool for the job?

Try the different tools out.

We don’t have to fit into any rule.

It will be fun.

Have a wonderful week.